Armani Necktie

Are you a yuppie businessman wealthy and successful, suit and tie who always had a secret dream that you would one day become a redneck? Have you always wanted to be a Bubba, but do not know how? Cletus Is there a character inside that dapper and dignified image, just hollerin out?

Buy the following: a pair of overalls, a package of chewing tobacco and six cases of beer. That's all you need to get started!

Now follow the 35 SIMPLE and EASY. CAUTION: These instructions should be followed in your business office hours.

1) We assume that you are a worthy, well maintained yuppie executive, therefore, that you read this, it is also assumed that you are wearing a pair of well polished $ 800 Brooks Brothers black leather shoes and socks capto silk trade from $ 2,000 striped Armani suit tailored to you, a $ 150 silk tie with matching handkerchief and suspenders, a starched white shirt, monogrammed cufflinks, tie pins and a silver Rolex watch.

If you're not dressed like this, stop now and continue when you are. First, loosen and remove the high and mighty mirror shined shoes Executive. Detach socks fancy.

Do it now! This is NOT an option! Be warned: those shoes and socks have been vital to your identity until now, so make no mistake, this will be a challenge to an executive yuppie true. They must be removed to move forward in the wonderful world of news waiting for you. (Note: This also works with the wingtips Johnston & Murphy loafers or Italian with little tassels on them.)

2) silk socks in shiny shoes orders and drop the trash.

3) * URGENT * Do not, in any circumstance, wear shoes again. You must remain bare feet. If you fail, return to the first step. It will take discipline! This is where most candidates fail Bubbas! You'll be tempted to get them back on - resist this!

If you have any problems, please call our emergency number 800. A real coach Bubba formed will help you.

4) The following is guaranteed to help you make your high horse in haste, and in the world redneck! Trust us!

Prop. barefoot on political office, with soles facing the open door of the office. Do not remove feet from the office, even when co-workers, customers and / or boss enter office.

5) Remove cufflinks and soles scratch with them when others enter office and during the conference office. cufflinks replace.

Six) Use tie to wipe the nose.

7) Use tie-pin and / or collar to clean nails. Put the tie pin or collar Back tie or a shirt.

8) eating lunch with a knife only. Wipe dirty knife on otherwise impeccable business suit.

9) hand under the leg of pants suit and nothing. Scratch under arms.

10) Open the can of beer. Drink quickly and belch loudly. Practice! Dribbling on the business suit. Business discarded socks can be used to wipe his mouth. Repeat. Stack boxes on expensive office carpet.

11) laughing for no reason.

Note: Do not worry if you have any concerns about your dignity. Your dignity will soon disappear! Do not worry!

12) Place tobacco in the mouth in the rear of the cheek. Practice spitting streams of tobacco juice at the computer screen, office or the polished floor, or major presentation, or in the cuffs of trousers suit your stripes. Brooks Brothers shoes may also serve as a spittoon.

Note: This is the only time you can retrieve shoes from garbage! See step # 3.

13) Unscrew and remove silk tie Natty, detach and remove the gold monogrammed cufflinks, pocket handkerchief clip suit, tie pins loosen, unbutton and exit ramps and slide Rolex wrist. Drop ALL items in a bin.

14) of the band.